Because apparently no one told the British public that World War I was shorter than the Wagatha Christie saga, Rebekah Vardy is dusting off her leopard print and primetime potential to finally tell her side of the saga that launched a thousand memes. Yes, Channel 4 has gone back to the Wagatha well with yet another documentary, and this time, Vardy herself is ready to speak into the microphone that she insists she never used to leak tabloid tattle.
Two years after the blowtorch-lit high court battle between Coleen Rooney and Rebekah Vardy settled into legal legend, Channel 4 is releasing Vardy vs Rooney: The False WAG, a new documentary that attempts to peel back yet another layer from the glitter-coated onion that is Britain’s favorite defamation case. Unlike the previous Channel 4 docu-drama hybrid which reconstructed the court scenes with actors who presumably trained watching reruns of Footballers’ Wives, this new series features actual fresh interviews with Vardy herself, stepping out from behind the courtroom sketches and into the confessional spotlight.
For those of you who have mercifully avoided the cultural clutches of Wagatha Christie, here’s a brief refresher: back in 2019, Coleen Rooney, wife of former England footballer Wayne Rooney, pulled off a sting operation that MI5 would envy. After suspecting someone was leaking stories from her private Instagram account to the press, she strategically planted fake stories and watched them appear in The Sun. Following the trail of breadcrumbs like a footballer’s WAG-detective hybrid, she fingered (metaphorically, of course) Rebekah Vardy as the culprit. And then came the immortal line: “It’s… Rebekah Vardy’s account.” Shakespeare could never.
Vardy denied the allegations with all the passion and ferocity of someone who once ate a scorpion on I’m A Celebrity… Get Me Out of Here!, and sued Rooney for defamation. The trial was about as subtle as a designer handbag fight in a boutique clearance sale, providing days of lurid transcripts, hastily deleted WhatsApps, and tales of phones tragically dropped overboard like plot devices in a telenovela. The judgment, however, sided with Rooney, stating that Vardy and her agent were likely behind the leaks. Vardy left with a bruised reputation, a multimillion-pound legal bill, and presumably a solid grounding in the law of libel.
This new documentary, produced by Optomen Television, promises never-before-seen interviews with Vardy as she attempts to reclaim her narrative. Channel 4 has yet to confirm if Coleen Rooney will be making an appearance, although given that she is currently busy polishing her own Netflix documentary series and her reputation as Britain’s most unlikely gumshoe, it seems unlikely. Though frankly, if these two were to square off via interpretive dance at this point, you could probably sell tickets and call it culture.
“I have never been involved in leak[ing] information about Coleen,” Vardy declares in a clip from the documentary, which may or may not make your eyebrows involuntarily arch into your hairline.
Whether viewers will be swayed by Vardy’s version of events or simply show up to watch what amounts to a high-profile post-match interview remains to be seen. But one thing’s for certain: in the curious world of football WAGs turned courtroom dramatists turned documentarians, there’s always extra time.
This saga may be over, but the post-match analysis is only just getting interesting.