In a plot twist even the writers of “Succession” might find a bit too on the nose, Boeing finds itself once again doing the corporate equivalent of checking under the couch cushions for its reputation. The aircraft manufacturer has confirmed that the same turncoats, politely referred to as whistleblowers, who alerted the FAA to certain quality control issues in its flagship 787 and 777 jets, were not only correct but perhaps even understating the charm of the situation.
The revelation came after Boeing mechanics discovered that certain sections of the aircraft’s fuselages were missing a few important ingredients, such as bolts. Bolts, for those not fluent in aero-engineering or basic common sense, are the small metallic miracles that keep very large and expensive things from becoming even more expensive falling things.
In a memo that suggested everything is fine and definitely not on fire, Boeing said these bolt-shaped absences were spotted “during standard build process” and that they are now conducting a “comprehensive review.” That phrase, of course, roughly translates to “we are currently cataloguing just how many of these bolts decided to sit this plane out.”
All of this comes on the uncomfortable heels of yet another Boeing episode, in which a panel on a 737 MAX decided it was time to take a scenic detour midair. The incident, which occurred in January, somehow managed to prompt extra FAA scrutiny without devolving into outright slapstick. Miraculously, no injuries were reported, except perhaps to consumer confidence.
Boeing insists that there is no impact to safety, which one should take comfort in hearing, preferably not while already strapped into one of their planes at 35,000 feet. United and American Airlines, which are currently the proud recipients of some of these bolts-lite 787s, have reportedly not found any problems, although the measure of comfort in hearing that may depend on one’s proximity to a life vest.
As for the whistleblowers, one can only assume they are either feeling a deep sense of vindication or wondering if they should start checking the wing glue next.
Because nothing says “trust us” quite like investigating missing bolts after the factory line has already gone full speed ahead.