In a heartwarming display of interplanetary democracy, NASA has decided that its latest discovery on Mars should be named not by a committee of credentialed planetary geologists but by the internet. Because frankly, what could go wrong?
The Perseverance rover, which continues to potter around the Jezero Crater like a six-wheeled retiree on a very long and rather dusty RV trip, recently spotted a rather unusual rock. This one, however, is not just any ordinary Martian stone. It is unusually shaped, vaguely noodle-like, and has taken the imagination of scientists and social media savants alike.
The wiggly rock, which quite honestly resembles something more likely to evade a colander than make geological history, has sparked curiosity due to both its shape and its mysterious origin. NASA scientists, ever the buzzkills of strange phenomena, suspect erosion from ancient water flows might be responsible. But before letting the science do all the answering, they thought it best to ask the internet what it should be called. Because if there’s one thing the internet is known for, it is restraint and good judgment.
A public naming contest is being floated, with suggestions ranging from the benign to the barely pronounceable, possibly foreshadowing another Boaty McBoatface incident. NASA, one suspects, is bracing itself for the inevitable flood of noodly puns and spaghetti-themed nonsense headed their way.
“This is a fun way to engage the public,” said NASA spokesperson Sarah Jones, undoubtedly as visions of Ramen McRockface danced behind her eyes.
The effort is clearly part of NASA’s broader strategy to keep the public engaged with space exploration, given that pictures of dusty red expanses and robotic tire tracks wear thin after about six months. Especially when the rover’s only companions are rocks and the occasional gust of Martian wind painstakingly measured by scientific instruments that cost more than your average luxury SUV.
The official name for the rock will not affect mission data or scientific interpretation, but it will give mission scientists a shorthand way to refer to it in public updates, assuming the name is within a respectable distance of utterly ridiculous. Votes or suggestions will be gathered through NASA’s social media platforms, which is either a touching display of transparency or a bold demonstration of courage in the face of certain memeification.
So if you have ever dreamed of contributing to interplanetary exploration without actually having to leave your couch or acquire a PhD in astrobiology, now’s your chance.
The stars may not yet be within reach for most of us, but at least we can try naming a rock that looks like it lost a fight with a pasta machine.