In a rare win for taste buds everywhere, the U.S. Food and Drug Administration has officially approved the Florida Pearl strawberry, the latest horticultural overachiever to emerge from the Sunshine State, where the fruit is red, the oranges are orange, and apparently now a strawberry can even taste like a strawberry.
This ruby-hued marvel is a product of the University of Florida’s Institute of Food and Agricultural Sciences, which sounds appropriately serious for a team that has spent years breeding something that might seem obvious to the untrained eye: a red strawberry that tastes better than supermarket cardboard. According to researchers, the Florida Pearl boasts a sweet, floral flavor reminiscent of candy, though not the sort your aunt has been hoarding in crystal dishes since 1994.
Unlike many grocery store strawberries that often taste like slightly damp insulation wrapped in perfume, this particular specimen is juicy, sweet and, yes, actually tastes the way you remember strawberries tasting before your soul was crushed by agricultural pragmatism. It joins a growing roster of fruit celebrities now being trademarked and marketed to a population that has been tricked into thinking “big” and “shiny” equals “edible.”
Interestingly, the Florida Pearl arrives at a time when other experimental strawberries, including white and even pale yellow varieties, have made their debut, begging the question: when did strawberries become the new apples with their own fan base and PR teams?
Growers in Florida have already begun plans for full commercial production with taste-testers giving rave reviews, although one suspects anything that tastes like something in the produce aisle is already a novelty. Experts say the less acidic profile and floral sweetness could make the Florida Pearl the darling of upscale grocers and confused toddlers alike.
The strawberry has not only met FDA food safety standards but has also passed the more elusive public opinion standards, with early samples yielding responses ranging from delighted surprise to outright fruit-inspired poetry.
In an age where science is busy trying to bring back woolly mammoths and send billionaires to Mars, it is somewhat comforting to know someone finally figured out how to make a strawberry taste like a strawberry again.
No word yet on whether they can get tomatoes to stop tasting like waterlogged regret.