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Elon Musk’s Brain Chip Company Neuralink Sparks Waves After First Human Implant

By Short The Truth
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In a move that surely puts the science fiction writers of the 20th century in well-earned retirement, Elon Musk proudly announced that his neurotechnology venture Neuralink has successfully implanted a brain chip in a real live human being. This milestone moment was shared in the calm, understated fashion of a multi-billionaire tech magnate, namely via a tweet, or X post, or whatever we are now legally obligated to call it.

According to Musk, the unnamed recipient is “recovering well” following the procedure and showing what he described as “promising neuron spike detection,” perhaps the most futuristic phrase this side of a Star Trek reboot. While the rest of us are still trying to get decent Wi-Fi in the kitchen, Neuralink is quietly plugging people into their own personal data ports.

The chip in question, known in quintessential Musk fashion as the “Telepathy” device, is designed to allow users to control devices “just by thinking,” though not, one assumes, about snacks or intrusive song lyrics. The initial phase of the technology is aimed at helping people with paralysis regain control of digital devices, with the eventual hope being that human-machine symbiosis will become less of a Marvel plot and more of a Tuesday morning.

The US Food and Drug Administration gave Neuralink the green light for its first human trial back in May 2023, and while the company is long on optimism it remains a bit short on peer-reviewed studies. Thus far, much of what we know comes from Musk’s social media updates, which are always informative and only occasionally bewildering.

Neuralink claims its long-term goal is for these implants to help humans keep pace with artificial intelligence, solving an existential risk while raising several more, not least of which is what happens when the brain chip needs a software update and you are mid-thought.

Because nothing says “cutting edge 21st-century medicine” like putting a USB port where your prefrontal cortex used to be.

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