In a classic case of weather not checking the celebrity schedule, Dubai found itself under several feet of water last week after a downpour that was more biblical than meteorological, prompting puzzled residents to trade sun hats for snorkels. Over 142 millimetres of rain reportedly fell in just 12 hours on April 16 according to the UAE’s National Centre of Meteorology, which is the type of measurement that would usually be reserved for describing how much coffee a programmer needs to survive a product launch.
Now, as scientists scratch their heads over the rare deluge in one of the driest countries on Earth, the internet has pointed its collective finger in the direction it always does in times of mystery and mild panic. Yes, Taylor Swift is being blamed. Although the pop superstar was nowhere near the Gulf at the time, fans have concocted a theory with all the rigor and footnotes of a conspiracy board made of yarn and vibes. Their logic, if one can call it that, is that the rain began the moment her new album “The Tortured Poets Department” dropped, as if her lyrics held the power to summon typhoons. Forget cloud seeding, we have chorus seeding now.
Of course, not wanting to be left out of the puddle party, climate scientists have also weighed in with an explanation that involves things like “weather patterns” and “climate change” and other buzzkills. The UAE had, in fact, launched several missions involving cloud seeding in the days leading up to the storm, which some believe may have nudged the heavens into opening a little more enthusiastically than intended. However, meteorologists insist that the sheer size and scale of the storm was likely too large to be fully blamed on this human tinkering. Apparently, even Mother Nature appreciates a bit of dramatic flair from time to time.
“This amount of rain is not unheard of globally, but it is very unusual for this region,” said Dr. Diana Francis, head of the Environmental and Geophysical Sciences Lab at Khalifa University, who somehow managed to say this without also shaking her head slowly and gesturing at the sky for emphasis.
The economic impact of the flooding is still being calculated but is expected to be substantial, given that the city known for its ultra-luxury cars saw more than a few Lamborghinis floating like very expensive rubber ducks throughout submerged streets. The Dubai airport also faced extensive delays and rerouting of flights, leaving the international terminal resembling a particularly moody Coachella campsite.
In the end, while climatologists and urban planners begin their long hard look at drainage systems and global warming, some corners of the internet remain convinced that Taylor Swift’s emotional ballads can turn the skies soppy as well. Perhaps next time, the UAE will check the Billboard release calendar before planning cloud seeding missions.
After all, nothing says “torrential consequences” like a pop album with a broken heart on the cover.