As June slips into July with all the subtlety of a flamethrower at a tea party, climate scientists are sounding the alarm yet again, which at this point is less a clarion call and more the weary sigh of a planet crying into its own overheated pillow. According to the scientists over at Europe’s Copernicus Climate Change Service, who presumably spend their days being both extremely right and extremely frustrated, global temperatures are heading for their twelfth straight month of record-breaking heat. That is right, we are not even in August yet and the climate is already sprinting ahead like someone late to their own intervention.
With May 2024 smashing its way into the record books as the hottest May ever recorded worldwide, and ocean temperatures merrily bobbing around at their highest levels ever, the planet is now averaging 1.63 degrees Celsius above pre-industrial levels over the past twelve months. This, for those keeping score at home, is well above the 1.5-degree target world leaders solemnly agreed on before promptly carrying on as if that agreement was more of a friendly suggestion than a last line of defense.
El Niño, the recurring climate phenomenon that pops up every few years like an old ex with bad timing, helped turbocharge these temperatures, making 2023 the hottest year on record. While El Niño is now presumably fading off into meteorological retirement, the heat has decided to stick around like party guests who refuse to take the hint. Methane, carbon dioxide and nitrous oxide levels also continue to soar, because apparently we are collecting greenhouse gases like Pokémon cards except with significantly less childhood innocence and significantly more consequences.
Carlo Buontempo, director of Copernicus, noted quite diplomatically that the string of broken records is “a reality we have to live with.” One imagines Dr. Buontempo spends his evenings sobbing quietly into a herb tea, gazing wistfully at graphs that climb like mountaineers with a grudge against humanity. But fear not, for while the data looks grim and the consequences feel seismic, global leaders continue to meet, talk and issue strongly worded press releases, which as we all know is roughly as effective against climate change as waving a scone at a hurricane.
At this point, the climate is less of a crisis and more of an awkward family member we keep pretending will grow out of it.