The British Museum, long a storied institution teeming with relics gathered from every corner of the globe, has found itself in the rather ironic position of losing some of its own collection. In an announcement that smacks of both tragedy and farce, museum officials confirmed that several items from its holdings have either vanished into thin air or been subject to theft, an embarrassing twist for an institution whose entire brand rather depends on, well, having things.
The missing items include gold jewelry and semi-precious stones believed to date from the 15th century BC to the 19th century AD. Museum Director Hartwig Fischer stated with all the composure of a man who has just remembered he left the gas on, “This is an extremely rare incident” and assured that the institution is taking the matter very seriously. Reports suggest that the culprit may be a former employee, a possibility that pairs nicely with the museum’s long tradition of questionable acquisitions, albeit this time with a bit less documentation.
The museum confirmed that the purloined pieces were not on public display but stored in a storeroom, which if nothing else proves once and for all that even ancient valuables are not immune to the hazards of office supply room neglect. An internal investigation is underway and the institution has called in the Metropolitan Police, who have suddenly found themselves tasked with solving a mystery that is perhaps less Agatha Christie and more Mr. Bean with a crowbar.
This incident may not help the British Museum’s ongoing efforts to convince various nations that they are more custodians than collectors of borrowed time. While the museum continues its audit and the police take down names, history itself seems to be slipping out through the back door.
A museum losing ancient artifacts is a bit like a library misplacing Shakespeare: ironic, but nobody is laughing.