After months of speculation and a launch so soft it could have doubled as a loaf of gluten-free bread, Meta’s Threads app has finally descended upon the European Union, landing just in time for… well, not much really. Initially introduced in July with all the fanfare of a mid-tier sequel, Threads billed itself as the Twitter alternative we neither asked for nor knew how to pronounce with conviction. Now, European users can download the app too, and presumably wonder what to do with it.
Mark Zuckerberg, ever the digital world’s most enthusiastic wedding crasher, announced the expansion with optimism, describing the European roll-out as “an organic way for people to discover Threads” which is perhaps code for “our marketing budget is tired and would like a nap.” The app is now fully available across the 27 EU countries, which is notable considering that Meta originally held back the launch in the region over concerns about the sort of data privacy laws that make EU regulators sleep peacefully at night.
Threads operates as a spin-off of Instagram, sharing the same infrastructure but promising a “text-first” experience, which is a bit like asking Instagram to stop showing you sunsets and start reading poems aloud. The app initially saw a meteoric rise to 100 million sign-ups in five days, but like most sugar rushes, the crash soon followed. Engagement plummeted as users presumably realized they could just text their thoughts to themselves and achieve roughly the same impact.
Upon entering the European market, Threads now offers a version where users can simply explore public posts without making an account or even logging in. This bold move lets EU users dip a toe in the content pool without committing to entering the digital spa fully robed in app permissions. It is a clever concession to regulators, and possibly also to commitment-phobic users.
Of course, competition remains fierce. X, formerly known as Twitter before it lost both its name and arguably its mind, continues to be the dominant character-limit soapbox for the digitally disgruntled. Threads, meanwhile, positions itself as the kinder gentler social media experience where posts are more likely to feature latte recommendations than political flame wars. Whether this approach is sustainable or simply a wi-fi powered group hug remains to be seen.
Shakespeare asked what’s in a name, and Threads answered “about 25 fewer users than last week.”

