In what can only be described as a victory for sleep-deprived zoo staff and a crushing loss for ambitious raccoons with dreams of a late-night career in capybara cuddling, the Gladys Porter Zoo in Brownsville, Texas, has successfully shut down an unexpectedly popular raccoon-sized hole that had developed in the zoo’s perimeter fencing.
The quarter-sized breach, barely wide enough for a raccoon’s ego to pass through but apparently sufficient for the rest of the animal, had become a swinging spot for the local raccoon population which had taken a keen interest in visiting a certain capybara enclosure after hours. According to zoo officials, the daring dumpster divers had been staging regular nightly rendezvous with the zoo’s capybaras, who, true to form, remained unbothered and perhaps mildly entertained.
Since April, over 15 unauthorized raccoon guests have been caught wandering zoo grounds at night, as though auditioning for a buddy comedy spinoff featuring themselves and their large, unflappable rodent friends. The zoo, which generally prefers its animals to arrive through the gift shop rather than the fence line, took issue with the unsanctioned visits, citing health concerns and the risk of a cross-species reality show breaking out.
“They were not exhibiting any aggression,” zoo zoologist Tiffany Wurth told reporters, which is exactly the kind of statement you say when raccoons act suspiciously polite and therefore possibly up to something.
After installing a series of motion-detecting trail cameras whose footage reads like a deleted scene from a raccoon noir thriller, officials pinpointed the covert entry point and promptly sealed it, sending a clear message to the nocturnal intruders that the capybara lounge was now members-only.
For their part, the capybaras have issued no comment, presumably due to either indifference or a strict personal code of silence about their mysterious guests.
As always, it’s hard to say who the real animals are in these situations but this time the fence won.