In a story that could be titled “Why Florida Remains Undefeated in Bizarre Transportation Choices” a man in the Sunshine State decided that rush hour traffic was simply not for him and instead donned a life vest, hopped on a jet ski and politely made his way down a rain-flooded street as if Poseidon himself demanded he make his appointment on time.
The incident unfolded in Miami, a city already familiar with surreal headlines and the occasional alligator-related delay. A video showed the unnamed aquatic commuter navigating the four-feet-deep floodwaters with all the calm confidence of someone who had clearly been waiting his entire life to legally use a jet ski in a residential area.
While residents were busy rescuing their sedans from the wrath of rising tides, this gentleman appeared instead to be training for the yet-to-be-invented Olympic sport of Urban Jet Ski Slalom. Bystanders, naturally, did what any responsible citizen might do in the 21st century: they took out their phones, hit record and supplied running commentary that would later accompany him to viral fame.
The Miami Police Department, ever the bastions of pragmatic diplomacy, noted that while this may have looked fun and wildly Floridian, such stunts are not exactly legal under traffic laws or common sense. The city, meanwhile, continues to struggle with long-standing infrastructure issues that transform sudden rain into temporary waterways perfect for adventurous, if recklessly creative, travel solutions.
Officials are urging residents to perhaps not follow in this man’s wake, suggesting that instead of jet skis, people consider flotation devices with less horsepower and significantly more grounding in reality.
Because in Miami, the tides rise, the traffic stalls and somewhere out there, a man on a Sea-Doo is probably still looking for a parking spot.