Apple held its annual Worldwide Developers Conference on Monday and in what can only be described as a carefully choreographed display of software innovation and corporate enthusiasm, it unveiled Apple Intelligence, a suite of artificial intelligence features that the company charmingly insists will change your iPhone life in ways you didn’t previously know were lacking.
The phrase “Apple Intelligence” was repeated with such frequency during the keynote that one begins to suspect it might qualify as subliminal messaging. But never mind that. The path Apple is taking here is one filled with the promise of on-device processing, context-aware features, and of course, privacy. Because it would not be an Apple product launch if there were not several references to how much Apple values your privacy, even while mining your digital habits to anticipate your grocery list.
Perhaps the most headline-grabbing announcement was the integration of ChatGPT into Siri, a bold move that combines the occasionally helpful nature of Siri with the occasionally confident hallucinations of OpenAI’s chatbot. When Siri is out of its depth, it will now offer to phone a friend, specifically the friend who once told someone to microwave grapes. But fear not, Apple promises no data will be stored unless you give your permission, which you absolutely will when you tap “yes” before reading the fine print.
Messages got an upgrade too, allowing users to schedule texts and add effects to individual words. At last, you can time your passive aggression and add smoke to “we need to talk.” Notes are now transcribable in real time via AI and Safari helpfully summarizes web pages because reading is apparently too slow for the modern attention span.
And then there was the debut of Genmoji. Apple finally allows you to generate custom emoji with AI, in what is perhaps a profound breakthrough in our species’ centuries-long quest to represent sarcasm with greater anatomical specificity.
Siri is getting smarter thanks to OpenAI, while Apple promises not to let your private life slip into the cloud unless it forgets, momentarily, which button you pressed.
All of this is coming across iOS 18, iPadOS 18, and macOS Sequoia, names that Apple still says with a straight face, though the spirit of California trees is presumably wondering how it got dragged into this ultrapersonalized spotlight of artificial cleverness.
Yes, Apple is late to the AI party, but like any good guest, it arrived dressed impeccably and brought its own snacks.

