In a move that sounds like the start of a bureaucratic buddy comedy but is instead just another chapter in America’s struggle with carbon emissions, the Environmental Protection Agency is reportedly suing the United States Postal Service for rolling forward with a fleet of gas-powered delivery trucks that are about as environmentally friendly as a coal-powered leaf blower.
The Postal Service had previously announced plans to replace its aging Grumman LLVs, which have been bravely puffing their way through suburban neighborhoods since the late 1980s, with 165,000 new “Next Generation Delivery Vehicles.” One might assume the next generation would be the electric type, or at least a hybrid. But no, most of the planned trucks are still reliant on internal combustion engines, which the EPA claims violates federal environmental review standards and common sense.
The EPA, playing the role of exasperated hall monitor, has partnered with several states and environmental groups who jointly argue that the Postal Service’s plan to commit to decades more of gasoline-powered vroom-vrooming was greenwashed in its environmental review. More diplomatically put, the review allegedly relied on outdated data and did not properly weigh options like electric vehicles or the concept of breathing air that does not smell like a 1992 pickup truck.
Postmaster General Louis DeJoy, who has not been voted prom king of the climate movement, defended the decision as fiscally prudent and within the agency’s legal authority. To be fair, it is hard to electrify a national fleet on a budget that sometimes cannot cover decent ballpoint pens. Still, critics argue that with climate targets looming and technology improving faster than a teenager’s TikTok refresh rate, the move seems quaintly short-sighted. Think using a rotary phone to order an Uber.
The lawsuit is headed to court, where judges will presumably put down their recyclable coffee cups and determine whether the Postal Service must return to the drawing board, or whether the future of mail delivery will continue to run on the scent of regular unleaded.
Because nothing says forward-thinking quite like vaping nostalgia out of a tailpipe.