After years of speculation, eyebrow-raising tweets, and the occasional rogue demonstration involving pigs with implants, Neurotech firm Neuralink, the brain-bending brainchild of Elon Musk, has received approval from an independent review board to begin recruiting humans for its first official clinical trial. The company, known for promoting the idea that brains and computers should be on speaking terms, rather than nervously glancing at each other across the room like middle school dance attendees, is stepping into the real-world application phase of its futuristic ambitions.
Neuralink’s first trial is set to involve individuals with quadriplegia, or in slightly more everyday terms, people who are completely paralyzed due to cervical spinal cord injury or ALS. The grand idea is to plant a chip into the part of the brain that governs movement and then let said chip silently text its intentions to a computer somewhere nearby. If all goes well, humans and machines may finally enjoy something closely approximating a functioning relationship, unlike your last attempt at assembling IKEA furniture with voice commands.
The company is looking for participants who are over the age of 22, have a consistent and reliable caregiver, and happen to live within driving distance of one of the research facilities. Also on the list of requirements, one imagines, is a healthy disregard for the phrase “I’ll try anything once.”
And for those wondering who will be performing the delicate work of inserting a chip into a human skull, do not worry. Neuralink helpfully invented a highly specialized robot just for the job, on the assumption that nothing bad has ever happened when a robot gets near your brain.
Musk, never one to let understatement get in the way of a good soundbite, has long claimed the technology could one day cure everything from blindness to depression, although for now the company is modestly aiming to help participants control cursors and keyboards with their minds. A sort of high-stakes game of ‘think and it shall type’.
“The goal of the BCI (brain-computer interface) is to enable people to control a computer cursor or keyboard using only their thoughts,” said Neuralink in a statement that should probably be accompanied by sci-fi theme music.
This marks a significant milestone for the company, which has previously made headlines for things like implanting chips in monkeys and promising a future in which you can play video games telepathically, assuming you have always dreamed of becoming a Jedi with email access.
The company says the trial will last six years, giving both the chip and its host plenty of time to really get to know each other, like a very intimate, very one-sided buddy comedy.
All things considered, if the brain-computer honeymoon phase goes well, we may soon be logging in with our minds, rather than forgetting our password for the nineteenth time.
Because really, nothing says “the future is here” quite like a monkey with Wi-Fi and a man volunteering for robot brain surgery.